24 October 2019

Ben McLeay on surviving shit jobs — It is the Sacred Right of Night Fill to Throw Shit Around as Much as They Want or Need: “The brief, shining moments of happiness that could be eked out came in two forms: Fucking Off, and Fucking Around. Fucking Off is a universal phenomenon, although each job permits it to different extents. In some, Fucking Off can only be achieved by doing a less arduous task much slower than required, giving yourself some time to rest. In contrast, any white-collar job that allows access to a computer and the internet can by itself be anywhere between 50% and 100% Fucking Off. … Fucking Around means doing something you are ostensibly not allowed to do but know that you can get away with, either by subterfuge or by the willing blind eye of the powers that be. It could be anything from riding pallet jacks across the floor to ‘sampling’ approximately 4 kilograms of deli meats per week, to using the produce knife to slice pomegranates perfectly in half samurai-style as they are thrown at you in the loading dock’s security camera blindspot. Fucking Around is the gift we give ourselves to offset the shittiness of our lot.” (See also, Kassandra Vee on the correctness of hating your job.)